zuihitsu, playlist in an empty pool

Posted on by theresakishkan

heart in bowl

1.

I was the only swimmer in the blue pool, my strokes slow, my thoughts elsewhere, fabric piled on a trunk, before the cutting, before the piecing, before the hours of stitching. The quilt. A playlist from the 1970s when I was young. When my head came up out of the water, 2 lengths of the back crawl, Neil was singing, and I was a teenager, drifting down to the beach at lunch, taking one of the two possible trails. In my black bathing suit and my cap, my strokes slow, my thoughts elsewhere.

I’ve been in my mind, it’s such a fine line
That keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And I’m getting old.

moorcroft

2.

The lifeguards laughed at something. Outside the leaves were falling. I turned at the deep end and pushed my way through the blue water. Each song a palimpsest, the empty pool a reminder.

Like a heartbeat drives you madIn the stillness of remembering what you hadAnd what you lostAnd what you hadAnd what you lost

heart on tile

3.

Black bathing suit, blue cap, alone in the water. When I woke this morning, I knew I’d dreamed something wild and unsettling, packing for somewhere I’d never arrive at, nothing quite fitting, the train late, my ticket lost. I swam my slow kilometre in 38 minutes, no one else in the pool, never leaving my lane.

Started humming a song from 1962
Ain’t it funny how the night moves

Strange how the night moves
With autumn closing in.

Note: this morning’s swimming music courtesy of Neil Young, Fleetwood Mac, Bob Seger

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Published by theresakishkan

I'm a writer living in paradise.

6 thoughts on “zuihitsu, playlist in an empty pool”

  3. Yes, what Carin said. Such rich scenes, into which you invite your readers here.
    Have you read Christina Sharpe’s Ordinary Notes? Or, is it on your TBR?
    I feel like that seems an abrupt, unrelated question but in my mind it fits.
    On a more concrete note, I’m reminded of Leanne Shapton’s book about swimming.

    1. Thank you, Marcie. No, I haven’t read Ordinary Notes yet but it’s very much on my list. I enjoyed Leanne Shapton’s book and also (even more) Jessica Lee’s Turning. The other day I was looking at the lake as we drove by on our way out for supper and I thought how I miss its waters this time of the year. I could take quick dips, I know, but I don’t think I could do my long sustained swim daily over the winter with current temperatures (and the ones that are coming). My children keep suggesting a wetsuit but that sort of defeats the purpose of being in the water, or at least it does for me. So it’s the pool, and I know I’m lucky to have it close and mostly uncrowded.

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